Thoughts on swine

Have you ever wanted to approach a big pig on the street and laugh at his curly-Q tail, and then stomp about like a screaming banshee and ask everybody on the sidewalk out for drinks--your treat--and then at the bar you rub it in even more, pretending to apologize to the pig and his little tail for insulting them, but when he's about to accept your apology you get up again and say "Yeah, right, Oinkzilla--ha, I'm just playin! You're as ugly and illin as ever with that laughable little dangly thingy!" and then suddenly you wake up and realize it was all a dream, so you get out of bed and go to the washroom, but when you reach to grab your toothbrush you find it's been replaced, by a BRISTLING PIG TAIL?? And so you have to brush your teeth with the thing you had insulted. Stupid poetic dream justice.