PSA

Who’s luckier than a man with a big cheese sandwich? Indeed! Few of us can comprehend the beauty that’s inside the cheese.

I mean, have you ever eaten a large cheese sandwich? I ate one the other day and near shit my pants with delight. I was eating this absolute megabomb of a sandwich and along comes a spider, a big tall fatty named Octopod the Magnificent. I look at the spider and I compliment him on his purse. I say ‘Is that silk?’ but spiders don’t appreciate nuance, not like a praying mantis. But who cares when I got sammies on the brain.

Anyway I was eating a sandwich like I said and felt like the King of Heaven on a joy-bender. It was happiness, loose and groovy, bigtime smilesfest like when a vat of money falls in your lap and you go apeshit purchasing jewels or whatever. This sandwich had it all: sweet curves and tasty crust; it was like the Formula One of ensconced cheese. I can’t even remember what kind of cheese was in there exactly, it could have been laced with ecstasy cause that’s how it felt. So good, or should I say gouda. Hahahaha.. I think it might have been Swiss but that’s like singling out one cheese for praise when a sandwich is by definition a team effort… all that matters is how good it felt you know?