What's the hell's happening over in Fotsdam and Fizzleland? I mean, that's two places going to the dogs in a hurry I say; I never knew such stinky crap havens. Fie fie on those obnoxious jerkmongers, those weed-munching horse crazies. Let's face the truth about these goddamn Fotsdammers, and tie their legs to posts so they can't escape and act all rambunctiously like they do--high time we slapped them about the knickers or sawed off a few limbs if you asked me... And has anyone seen my little aardvark, Gustav? He's a cute innocent aardvark wandering the cold pathways of downtown, T.O. and I know there's all kinds of dangerous loons who'd just hanker at the chance to cuff him or steal his licorice money and see him whimper in defencelessness because he really loves licorice and is a trusting dear soul, and so it makes me super sore to think of lil Gustav going without his favourite aardvark snack. And another thing, speaking of sugar treats--doesn't anyone have change for a nickel? I gotta pay the convenience store dude Huang for all these one-cent candies I wanna buy, but all I want is 3 one-cent candies and so I wanna pay with three pennies, but don't wanna give him a nickel or nothing and get two pennies back because I hate hanging on to spare change so much it makes my toes curl. And that's one stance I won't 'change' from. Heheh. But what else can I ask for--you get what you pay for right? But I must say I need a big fajita, or else I will die from lack of mexican food, which I consume like it's oxygen!! I swear, fajitas are to pitas as Jekyll is to Hyde--so don't 'hide' the fajitas on me or I'll turn into a monster! You don't want that I promise so cough up that mexicana smorgasbord (is that how you spell that delicious word?)... And you know what my favourite colour is this week?? MAUVE!!! That's right, I swear this is not a lie. Mauve is the fave--ha ha I'm a poet and I don't know it. Ok 'mauve' doesn't rhyme with 'fave' but so what--I think you are a horse-munching ankle-licker so shut up and pass me the licorice... And another thing--the picnic I was preparing for the Boy Scout committee that parks their bus on my front lawn for all their field trips to my backyard (they go on field trips near my backyard because it's in the Rocky Mountains, which is a perfectly good spot for boy scouts to learn all those wicked outdoor tricks like tying shoelaces into unbreakable knots)--anyway that picnic has to be put on hiatus because I have better things to do right now (like 'write now' in my blog! HA HA HA). So forget the boy scouts--I hear they're all pervs anyway; just get me three pennies so I can mow down on my candy pops!