6/01/2005

Label me sweaty

It's summertime and the weather, HOT IT IS - to quote master Yoda. I don't just mean HOT like spicy, like suicide wings or HOT as a stolen Maserati, but I mean HOT as in the centigrade scale's turning insani-ti-grade! Forget 'Celsius', this temperature's off the charts on the FahrenHOT scale. This weather could melt a popsicle factory in northern Igloolik, speaking of which- licking an igloo is something I wouldn't mind doing right now... as an aside - ever feel like heading up to Nunavut and checking out some of that crazy northern architecture? Now that's a field trip! Or should I call it a fie-e-e-e-ld trip, cuz going all that way would entail an 'e'-'long'ated journey. Damn straight. But more on my love of Eskimo shanties in a second...

In the summer I often get covered in so much perspiration that I gotta whip out my spare t-shirt (always kept handy in the back pocket of my pants - but would that make it a 'shirt' pocket?) to wipe that wetness from my brow. Talk about 'using a shirt' as 'some kind of towel' - that's real thinking 'outside the bathroom'. Yah big ups for homegrown ingenuity. We need more people like me.

When it's this hot I like to relax with a tall frosty glass of the yellow stuff. No, I don't mean HUMAN URINE, I mean good ol' fashioned lemonade! There's many a citrus concoction that can 'quench my parch' but nothing makes me run off a cliff in delight like a half-pint of the Lemmy. Who's with me. Witness? Yes. Concord! (as in, agreement)Two cubes of ice makes it go down nice.

Now that air-conditioner season is upon us, where does that leave HAIR conditioner season? Is showertime 'balsamification' strictly a wintertime thing? I pray to Coco Chanel that it's not so. I know Coco 'go loco' with no sho-po (shampoo). But seriously, don't you find that washing every second day is so much better? All I know is my bottle of gel and I have a love-hate relationship. Shoppers Drug Mart points be damned - I got too many things to bitch about not to tell those pricks what I think. What I mean is - too much choice in the shampoo aisle makes a blogger like me a bit loose in the screws.

Anyway I'm all wired up, out of steam and sweaty in all the wrong crevices, so go ahead and turn that dial.

Next topic: the 101 Dalmatians - why visiting Croatia is always a bad idea.

No comments: