To do list - June 12

• eat breakfast: yoghurt + honey
  
• twirl 6-7 times
• impersonate Ancient Greek hoplite, but first, research hoplites
  
• cran-call saxophone factory; ask 'how much for sax?'
  
• denounce local magistrate; get all 'grassroots' in his face
  
• make a gimp necklace, do not snicker about 'gimp'
  
• contemplate globalization for a bit
  
• realize no one understands globalization as well as you do
  
• momentary intellectual depression
  
• overcome fear of thumbtacks; use psycholinguistic conditioning, ie think of tacks as 'benign corkboard support devices'
  
• phone aunt - ask after 'crab legs' recipe
• nickname your goldfish 'Crab Legs' - this time, make it stick
  
• cobble together lunch from what's in tupperware containers
  
• realize you possess WAY too much tupperware
• brainstorm fashion line made from tupperware ie Tupperwear
  
• get all caught up in latest professional athlete steroid scandal
• stop saying 'bling bling', this time for good
  
• do laundry; separate 'darks' from 'whites'; affect a Southern 'Klanner accent' and make a speech about the wonders of segregation
• feel guilty re above
• get over guilt by realizing 'hey I'm just as persecuted as anyone else!'
• hang laundry on line
• think long and hard about renting a rug cleaner, then get distracted
• apply for work at a local NGO - Nate's Golden Oldsmobiles
• tackle that bathroom reading
  
• investigate upgrading from 'Mach 3' to 'Mach 3 Turbo'; end up waiting till Mach 4
• use wisdom of Shakespeare to defuse gang violence
  
• make to-do list for next week