afternoon with her

“She was one of the best things to happen to him. And still she let him down. Because when two people come together, they must tear each other’s heart out.” ~ il diavolo

(I’ll never make you cry… what a lie. What a lie.)

Touches on the cheek, hidden hands in automobile - you attacked me finally in that secret corridor. For ten seconds we were telling each other the truth. But it’s so painful, to be truthful all day. It was a split-second decision, I was there when we made it. You were so free, when you took off everything, you let go of everything; I was shivering alright.

It was simple, what happened. Simple and right; I was shivering all night. We smote our ruins across the floor; I never kissed someone so close before. You spoke the language I was meant to speak - I wanted to learn your every dialect, climb your every peak. And that skin you wore, those words you swore; there was an army at the door, and we had to let them in.

[You ate my fingers… I asked you to scratch my back… nothing made sense; I asked - “will you ever be coming back?”]

You left for New York, then Vienna, and I’m alone, learning again what it means to feel love – it means I am helpless again, a victim, unable to do anything again. Love means living in a miracle. But some miracles wash away in the rain; they last not even an eyeblink. And bad things last ten years or more; I’m still wandering in the desert… But there was a miracle all the same!

There was an army at the door; we were rolling on the floor.

It was simple, what happened. I was shivering, all night; it was simple and right.

And I won’t feel myself any more, now that you’re gone. I won’t feel like a new person no more; now you are gone.