"The man who invented the transistor was probably a midget."

... and 15 other highly disprovable conjectures of science and history

(lunacy factor - 9):

15: If a geisha suddenly gains thirty pounds, the water in her town will turn black.

14: The 'panorama' setting on most digital cameras causes violent seizures in thoroughbred racehorses.

13: In skin, broken glass causes bleeding - and in New Zealand, parades.

12: Daydreaming about marshmallow salad aka 'ambrosia' is easier than remembering your own name.

11: An argument about feminism will divide your family, not only along gender lines - but also on lines of Balzac, and lines of cocaine.

10: If a U.S. president dies in office after being gored by a bull, and death is due to the negligence of one or more cowboys - then the deceased's family will receive all the southwestern states in compensation.

9: Excessive heat will kill humans. But it will bring Hitler back to life.

8: A woman will talk about shoelaces as long as the lace is long. (?)

7: Complaining about the weather is found to be ineffective - especially compared to blackmailing it.

6: If you suffer from bipolar disorder, all geometry eventually becomes meaningless.

5: After chess Grandmaster Garry Kasparov lost to Deep Blue, the computer, he got drunk, started talking trash, and had his ass kicked by Deep Purple.

4: A 40-sided Rubix Cube was invented long before the familiar six-sided toy came out. It was rejected for manufacture however, because the only people who could solve it were Sith Lords.

3: When asked what job he'd like after quitting the Bush administration, Colin Powell replied "Secretary of Turtlenecks."

2: A dromedary can go without drinking for six months. After three months, dromedaries are very angry. After six months they are donkeys.

1: The man who invented the transistor was probably a midget. Conversely, the man who invented the canoe was a giant - with size 12000 feet - who simply wanted a pair of waterproof clogs.