Cupcake Man seeks over the top blues band

The deal: I write the lyrics, you and your band sing them.

Start with this lil number which I call 'El Flopso':

The Flopso Blues

Hey big Betty, butts do sag/ Papa's coming home in a body bag

Sweet little chicken, steak fried grits/ Shake a little pepper on ya flopsy tits

Deepfried cabbage, bottle o suds/ mama's wooden leg is stuck in the mud

Chorus* Spiderman chokin/ Bullfrog croakin/ Ain't nobody jokin/ Flopso is down and broken

Bigass carrots, peelin grapes/ pinch my sugar an' shake your bake

Cash in hole, house in hock/ my mud-covered watch is a monkey clock

Three little pigs, big bad fox/ huffin and puffin, spittin pennies in a sock

Chorus* Spiderman chokin/ Bullfrog croakin/ Ain't nobody jokin/ Flopso is down and broken