Today's random insults

1. I am witness to a horrific belching trend.
2. We are undone by pitiless boinkery.
3. Woe to wicked! They have seven extra toes.
4. Shall I call you Shasta, or shithead?
5. Your brogue is a vulgar shrieking thing.
   
6. I have often considered you a leech-pig. I am proved right.
7. Swim in my pool and I will forcefeed you a mutton bazooka.
8. You are a man of hardened cheese.
9. Your Swedish-princess tickler is now in the mail.
10. Oh, Mr. Sludgemuffin - your hair's blown away in the wind!
11. I agree the coastal towns should sell more butter! But you've absconded with my churn.
    
12. Vicious meadowlarks defy my every ordinance. I shall torch the mountainside and begin anew.