(to provide the inspiration for actually composing them)
1) "Sebastian Pinker, the Land-Surveying Meat-Masher" (aka the Civic Butchery Blues)
2) "Dromedarius R. Drudgewobble's Peanutty Paranoia" (tales in anaphylactic psychosis)
3) "House and Holmes: when Sherlock tried to Decorate" (and the pratfalls that ensue)
4) "The Incredible Shrinking Donut" (from black holes to dough holes)
5) "Gladys and Quigley Stormwater's Gruesome Encounter with a Dangling Participle Inside a Refractory Glass Prism" (self-explanatory, I think)
Now get writing!
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