turnip-eyed leaf-blowing gasket devil!

(another one that gets away)

Middle of College St. I saw the devil, goat-face, horns and all, and he was smoking a cigarette. He was total mafioso smoking that cigarette, brandishing a leaf-blower with his other hand, clearing a sidewalk in front of an antique store at the north side of the street. Good thing he didn’t see me, as I was in no mood to sell my soul, or have leaves blown all over me. I felt like I was moving through space invisible again, but I know from experience I’m pretty conspicuous. I mean, who else has a giant turnip growing out his eyeballs?

Yeah, that’s me, ‘turnip boy’. Folks oft try to chew on my eyelid-turnip, because it’s novelty to them, but it’s all bets are off when that happens, because hey if you idiots want turnips then head to the goddamn supermarket. Meantime I’m just trying to avoid selling my soul like I said.

Most times when I’m walking along College, I don’t feel like a freaky turnip-eyed munchkin, because I’m looking at the rest of you circus nuts; but so what eh, we all have problems. Like my friend Larry, he has a gasket problem. Meaning that, instead of a lung, he uses a gasket to breathe. Until I met Larry I didn’t even know what a gasket was. But now I know that to breathe in and out of one of those things your whole life involves a desperate world of hurt...