FIAC team bios - Mona

About Mona, FIAC Schoolmistress

Education has always been a part of Mona's life. She wishes her enthusiasm on the masses. Mona's "vivacious passion for vibrancy" seeks its level in her grandiose whimsy. Mona once shook the hand of President Jimmy Carter; it was that moment that solidified her "extreme distaste for nature" and passion for politics. Mona describes her interest in teaching as a mothlike attraction to a towering blaze. "As bugs gravitate toward a torch, so do my students whirl around my instruction and scream out joyous twitterings."

Mona has a degree in All Things Extraordinary from the University of Utter Relevance. She worked for 86 minutes as firsthand attache to Winston Churchill's portrait artist's petticoat maker. While fastening a button to a sleeve, she was hit by a bus. That bus was not even a bus, but a cosmic insight that made Mona giggle and fart; a realization that her contributions to civic life would be effected only by joining our team.

Says Mona, "People think too much... about stupid things. Like amniotic fluid and Sega Dreamcast. I try to encourage that - by smashing wooden cupboards to bits and writing about ancient Celtic euphemisms for beer. Other times I am unconscious. It's a mystery." Indeed. "That's why I work here."

Indeed.