2/12/2007

25 friggin brilliant ideas

(no need for an introduction)

1) Upside down snorkeling - with your face up out of the water, staring at the sky, you take a snorkel and blow into the water, creating an oceanic bubble bath (farting just doesn't compare) and sigh. Call it blorkeling: blow + snorkeling. Whether the sonic bubbles could attract whales remains to be seen, but think of the tourism if it did!
2) A club/singles org. for really really desirable people. Call it Social Mensa. The more exclusive the better. You need at least 10 references.
3) Why don't people sing on escalators? There should be a contest for writing the best song that can be performed for the exact duration of an escalator ride. This kind of thing could take off in Finland, a notoriously weird country (and home to the World Air Guitar Championships).
4) Banks that don't send you 500 pieces of mail every month.
5) Forget Wednesday - I want Winesday! (even better than Wacky Wednesdays)
6) An environmentally friendly, ethanol-powered search engine.
7) Self-milking livestock. Also, self-hypnotizing chickens! Snap your fingers and they line up in a row like super-nazi chickens. No longer will they wander the yard causing a fuss. Snap fingers twice and they keel over - dead.
8) A zeppelin on every rooftop. Blimp traffic is notoriously light.
9) There's spell check, and there's grammar check - now MS Word needs reality check to tell me exactly how stupid my writing really is.
10) Behavioural incentive: compliment your mother-in-law, get a coupon for a free pina colada.
11) Schoolteachers who give each other 'the strap'.
12) Survivor: Urban Poverty version.
13) A designated 'makeout car' on the subway. Or even better, a designated 'makeup car' on the subway where beauticians give grooming advice.
14) Communism might have a better reputation if it changed names to Legislated Sharing.
15) Oohgle - search engine for awesomeness.
16) If you hear someone say 'Aboriginals are just sore losers' you can take away his land.
17) If a tree falls in a forest and you don't hear it, don't worry. Greenpeace will notify you.
18) Foldable houses. Also called tents.
19) An emoticon for handshakes.
20) Why don't lingerie stores sell helmets? For the action-packed lover.
21) Game show called 'What's My Name?' where the entire half hour is spent trying to guess the contestant's first and last name. Hundreds of thousands in weekly prize dollars.
22) Game show - 'Fat Oprah/Skinny Oprah'. Not sure what the rules would be.
23) Use aerodynamic 'wind-tunnel' testing to build the perfect hair.
24) If Satan lives among us - someone should offer him a lollipop. Doesn't hurt to get on his good side.
25) Random lists every week!

4 comments:

Penny said...

I LOVE THIS. (But, if you ever run into Satan.. keep running, dude. And, pray.)

This is brilliant!

LMAO!!

So happy that I stopped by today!

See you again, soon.

Bobby said...

Yes. Lists. It's the best literary form - it's perfect for when you're getting your thoughts in quick rapid machine gunnings.

Make out car on the subway - ah yeah.

Cupcake Man said...

thanks penny :)

char said...

lists and llamas... things that keep popping up in my life in almost every area. very bizarre. but wonderful. :)
definitely liking the lists.