A hollow stump...

A hollowed out stump may or may not be filled with peanut butter. The likelihood of this depends on the promixity of the stump to peanuts, the cleanliness of the stump, the availability of a spreading instrument, the effectiveness of such a tactic at hiding peanut butter in the mind of the peanut-butter owner, the existence of peanuts, the availability of a tree of sufficient girth, the continuance of nuclear reactions inside the centre of the sun, a refutation of Hume's unproveability of causation (see Kant), a chemical composition for peanuts that permits butterification, the actualization of abstract concepts such as 'hollowness', the absence of any wolf or wolf-like creature that will devour the peanut butter no matter how well you hide it (cf. third point on dependency), the continued east-west rotation of the Earth, the neutralization of any threat of Ice Age, El Nino effect or rampant Fire Ant plague...

A mini-list:
1) Anyone who has an 'electric smile' should be careful around bathtubs.
2) If Venice is indeed sinking, then I will buy up Prague, gut the streets, fill them with water, and give the big middle finger to global warming. If any Czech complains, I will silence him with sugared pastries.
3) A man with too much time on his hands will never be able to bench-press a grandfather clock.
4) Phone me, email me, or send me a letter if you like. I cannot reply as long as I am locked in this damn mystery, wrapped in a riddle!

1 comment:

Angry Brown Man said...

The likelihood of the hollow stump being filled with peanut butter is also dependent on whether or not it is filled "a priori" with almond butter. Being filled with almond butter precludes being filled with cashew butter, which in turns excludes the possibility of being filled with peanut butter.