It's been a slice

Thanks to all my readers for being a part of online history. Today is my 27th birthday and I've got so many more things to invent, so until further notice this blog is closed. Please go through the highlights below for a trip down memory lane. To paraphrase the immortal Lao-Tzu, "you should always stick out like a peppercorn in peanut sauce." Or something like that. Stay golden Ponyboy.


My favourite FIAC posts and related commentary

(given my impending 'vacation' and all; you're just gonna have to bear with me)

Anything from Week One 2-29-04 to 3-06-04 - If you want to know me as a writer, this one week contains everything, condensed.

What the ^&%#!@ is this?? 3-07-04
- Originally an email to my friend, glad I kept it. A classic example of 'Rambungling' ('rambunctious' + 'bungling'), which is a very enjoyable philosophy I invented along with my two dear ex-housemates KJW and CEB about 6 years ago.

The Lady and the Snake 3-08-04
- a poem about the 16-lane highway that goes through my backyard. On the map of Toronto the 401 looks just like a snake; throw in some 'city of Toronto as the curious-and-then-regretful lady Eve' polish and, voila - you've got yourself some biblico-environmental propaganda.

Winnipeg? Ha, more like Loserpeg! 3-11-04
- among the first of many frivolous rants on arbitrary topics; I could call it satire on other bloggers if I wanted to be deep, but I'm not and I won't.

Out like a lamb 3-18-04
- classic example of a new style of surrealist writing I was just beginning to mess around with. My friend ABM calls it 'prosetry' (PROSE-uh-tree). I like that.

In angry defense 3-18-04
- an argument for the existence of God, argued by somebody nobody could like.

Freedom is a Cupcake 3-21-04
- needs to be read aloud. Basically an experiment in rhythm.

My heart on a napkin 3-24-04
- still the best mixed tape I ever made.

Waltzing Matilda 4-01-04
- I wanted to write something that would make me cry every time I read it. If I were a psychaitrist I think would say this one's about bipolarity; what the sad man says to the happy man when the happy man goes away. If I were Johnny Cash, I would say this is about Jesus and a man whose faith has abandoned him. If you read it just once you'd probably say it's about a girl. Sure why not.

The Barometer of Evil 4-15-04
- a fun chapter about the end of the world. I like the part about the chicken wings.

Nonnessence Unlimited 4-22-04 - words that almost sound like words, and have some kind of asemantic auditory meaning even though it's all garbage.

Isabella 4-27-04
- when I was in Italy in 2003 I fell in love with my third cousin, though I never did tell her. Isabella's not her real name. I think I would like to name my daughter Isabella; anything that makes you smile when you say it is a good name. Then all her life my kid will have people smiling at her, and maybe she'll grow up happy.

Unquenchable shame and ruin 5-08-04 - usually when I write bits of short stories, it's an exercise in sheer determination, to make something entertaining about an arbitrary word or phrase I write in the blogger title bar. It's great exercise.

meta-magic 6-01-04 - my first foolhardy attempt to explain what I was trying to accomplish with this blog. Utterly pretentious.

disappointment wears a llama mask 6-01-4 - along with 'Shame and Ruin' (above) this could be my favourite FIAC short-story.

mona get out 6-12-4
- sympathy for a famous work of art, and the lifetime of misery that goes along with it.

At the corner of Yonge and Fairlawn 6-17-04
- an attempt to describe my office. Or one of them. aka the window looking out a North Toronto Starbucks.

graffiti on the sidewalk 6-26-04
- one opinion about who's to blame for the mess that is Toronto.

ADD-inspired analysis of the Hip's latest 6-30-04
- my only CD review!

monkey on my back 7-06-04
- written on a whim while my friend CB was in the basement on the phone. Something to make her laugh as she hung up.

The Truth About Rambunglstiltskin 7-14-04
- my first serious (word choice?) attempt to put the philosophy of 'Rambunglement' into writing. Something I'll keep working at.

bobby beholds beauty, beast 7-20-04
- poem as sheer act of stubborn willpower.

another midnight 7-22-04
- fluffy piece of candy.

The Saucy Cello 7-26-04 - some people take their frustrations out on inanimate objects. Here's an attempt to reverse the formula.

coffee-cup rhymes 8-29-04 - pessimistic take on the meaning of life, written in a Second Cup coffee shop in fall 2003 when my legs had stopped working for the 4th time. Appeared on the backpage of the Queen's University 'Lighthouse Wire' creative writing mag in Spring 2004.

The Three Big Pigs 9-16-04
- As opposed to the Three Little Pigs.

London! 9-18-04 - I took my anger out on London, but really this is about a girl who done me wrong.

Sentences! Sentences! I need 500 by nightfall! 10-04-04
- you gotta keep feeding the dragon.

across ocean 10-21-04
- for my friend KH in Scandinavia; a poem about email and all its inherent wonders and limitations.

Father Cupcake drinks a Corona 10-30-04
- I don't know why I pick italics sometimes. I guess it's when I get up on my foolhardy soapbox.

Noodle and Doodle 11-06-04
- do you work to live, or live to work? A Seuss-type thing about rebellion (and Dr. S is the master rebel).

more pointless than usual 11-09-04
- cupcakes at their most incoherent.

November Rhymes 11-24-04
- I had been reading a lot of Marshall McLuhan when I wrote this. An attempt as synaesthesia, or multi-sense writing.

Marilyn and John Talk rubbish-rot 12-01-04
- Marilyn and John have haunted me for a while. Sometimes I like to rub their faces in the mud.

Do not read this 12-08-04
- my rather half-hearted attempt to destroy the universe and nullify existence ;)

Calabria 12-22-04 - the girl in italics is my third-cousin.

cumulo question 1-02-05 - except for caffeine and alcohol, I have never done drugs - in case you were wondering.

Nursery rhymes for the urban cynic 1-08-05 - snapshots of city life. Also some of my friends think I should be writing kids books. This is one perverse attempt to do that.

Celebratory cement mixer on Queen St 1-09-05
- I do a lot of writing at Java House on Queen St west of Spadina. They have decent food at low prices, and a great view of the coolios, hoboes and riffraff on Queen West.

Shappy the Clown 1-26-05 - this is about me.

meaning = absence of suffering? 2-10-05 - bit about animal euthanasia, written during the Terri Schiavo brouhaha.

Hold still 2-15-05 - this one asks a girl to be patient; because he's going to be worth it.

Unsolicited wallet-based enthusiasm 3-06-05
- occasionally I like to bludgeon my readers over the head with pure stupidity.

Take a 5-minute metaphysic and call me in the morning 3-13-05 - a second attempt to explain what I was trying to do with this blog. Does the large-print paragraph make it obvious?

Taking Tony Down a Peg 4-04-05
- this one was worth writing for the phrase "confiscate his allumettes."

Mind game 4-08-05
- a couple of years ago I thought about going to Georgetown University in Washington to study Cognitive Psychology. Not that that has much to do with this post, but I've always like talking about the mind b/c it's so intangible, cupcakey y'know.

Bakuta Lady 4-09-05
- actually it's Kubata, which is a coffee shop near my house.

Have a nice day 4-10-05 - I wanted to write the most unlikely post ever to appear on a blog, and this was it.

I Guarantee Sun on Sundays 4-17-05
- I really do. Before noon - I guarantee it. After noon it may get cloudy though. I can promise you the sun, but I can't promise you the moon.

She said 4-20-05
- this is about Ayn Rand and my attempt to encapsulate her philosophy aka Objectivism. She and I make strange bedfellows, cuz I'm a tad bleeding-heart, but I thought 'Atlas Shrugged' was truly awesome.

Nathan Bugsy Villespliff V - Son of an Ant-Poison Factory Foreman 4-20-05
- the first story I had written in a while. Pure sugar.

Chris and Di among the Paupers 4-26-05
- about the giant Britney Spears perfume poster that until a few weeks ago hung above the St. Christopher Mission at the northwest corner of Queen and Bathurst - a disturbingly real part of the city I see a lot of on my writing missions to various coffee houses.

Bakuta Lady (completed) 5-03-05
- this and the other Bakuta (Kubata) lady posts were written as fast as I could possibly type. Basically I sat and wrote for an hour, about 60 words/minute, without stopping. Then I revisited and tried to make sense of it.

More Ms. Rhythm 5-16-05
- unfortunately the link for Ms. Rhythm (April 26 post) doesn't work, but go read that first. I wanted to write a Johnny Cash-themed song, but using a trick I had learned from Bob Dylan's autobiography 'Chronicles'. Dylan mentions about a new rhythm he discovered that would allow him to write and sing new songs effortlessly. I thought I'd give it a try.

paranoia on the internet 5-24-05
- this is mostly trash; it was after this post that I began to realize I was taking myself too seriously. So for the last month FIAC got a heck of a lot sillier.

Shot in the leg by a midget 5-29-05
- case in point.

Everything can and should be Swedish 5-31-05 - worn out with serious poetry after LIAB was finished, I wanted to get back to my foolish and 'rambungling' roots.

Label me sweaty 6-01-05 - I hate heat waves more than anything. I perspire far too easily. Good thing I smell so wonderful.

7 things that bother me about tuna 6-07-05
- perhaps the only thing I hate more than a heatwave is the smell of tuna.

Urban Haiku 6-09-05
- in the vein of 'Nursery Rhymes for the urban cynic' but more playful.

To-do list June 12 6-12-05
- these are fun to write!

Things that rhyme with hula hoop 6-15-05
- exercise in writing as talking.

Life and time of Lt. Froghab 6-19-05
- the last FIAC short story????

beat you up real bad 6-28-05
- a cross b/w Frank Sinatra and Mickey Spillane.

Well those are some highlights. Sorry if explaining things ruins it a bit, but hey.