- an etymological analysis of the words "banjo" and "milkshake" and how they influenced 18th-century historians' interpretations of the Norman conquest. (hey it's half written)
- photos of my pet pigeon, Stoolie "Stooges" MacPuffin
- dialogue featuring opposing opposable thumbs
- rant on monogrammed sweatshirts
- list of my preferred flavours of Italian ices
- noir fiction piece involving a cross-dressing juggler, Kim Jong Il, and American Pie's Jason Biggs. Don't know how it starts but halfway through Clyde "The Glide" Drexler rolls into town with a bazooka, firing rockets at all the trees. "Burn them timbers," he cries -- and he snores constantly. But he gives up militancy, takes up the hookah, and falls into sheesha dependency. To support his habit he impersonates a firefighter who breaks into houses to steal the owner's Wii. NB Drex doesn't actually do those things, but he impersonates someone who does, and so becomes a smash on the mime circuit ... oh yeah the whole thing is mimed. Could be a musical too
- Analysis: "Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart -- Music Man, Decaying Mummy, or Mistress to the Czars?"
Showing posts with label kim jong-il. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kim jong-il. Show all posts
12/13/2007
Ideas for upcoming posts:
10/17/2006
Buy the new Hip album or I will kill you...
(...with reminders of how extremely good it is!)
My Second Album Review: World Container
It will be written: in 2006, Gord Downie discovered melody. And heart. And Bob Rock didn't put up with overintelligent lyrical obfuscation. And the band kicked it as usual - with piano!
The Tragically Hip are the only band I'll stoop to review; here's my nonsensical track-by-track analysis of World Container - possibly the third best Hip album ever behind Road Apples and Fully Completely. It is surely Gord's best vocal performance to date.
1. Yer Not the Ocean: Gord loves nature - but hates Stephen Harper. Harper's a piddling puddle, he's no Atlantic. Look beyond politics and this is a rebuke to mankind (yes, one of those species-wide rebukes): "I'm standing on my toes" and "[you] can get out of your own way" are references to evolution. Ie for all our advances the water is still above our heads. Kim Jong Il (evolution's finest product) should listen to this one. Oceans can take only so much crap.
2. Lonely End of The Rink: Song-about-Bill-Barilko-who? Song-about-Bobby-Orr-what? This track officially replaces the national anthem, the Hockey Night in Canada theme, as well as every Tim Horton's ad in existence. A classic 'story song' for goalies, who according to GD play "the noblest position in professional sport." 'Lonely' is inspired by Gord's dad, a former travelling salesman with 5 kids who nonetheless managed to watch young Gordie play net as a kid - showing up halfway through a game, watch Gord make a few key saves, and then vanishing. All I can say is - sweet smokin shitbricks! Don't get shredded by the opening guitars.
3. In View: A love song, the antidote to Harper. Also the best song about cell phone paranoia (and call display) ever recorded. The melodies shine out for the first time; finally, a Hip song we can hum!
4. Fly: This is untapped potential, the urge to realize dreams; also about Gord finally tapping into his heart with his songwriting: "something deep inside saying - 'Where you been all my life'." Also about talented and well-educated immigrants who come to Canada and then get shafted into "pushing the broom," doing work far beneath them. The coastline of Canada beckons like 'a pair of glowing thighs' but many immigrants end up cheated. Fly fly fly. Lots of choruses. Fly 'Air-World Container', yes.
5. Luv(sic): a pun in the title! Another song about airplane sickness aka soggy puke. I mean, love. "Words I carry in my heart?" - but hadn't the courage to say, for fear of succumbing to soggy cliche. Can the Hip grapple with Cupid - without becoming... Stupid? Is Love the only virtue there is? The Hip sound convinced.
6. The Kids Don't Get It: About how hard being as awesome as the Hip is; how hard defining Canada for all the clueless Canadians is. This is about how if humans don't cut back on CO-2 emissions Ma Nature's gonna deprive us our high-horsepower engines, kick our asses back to the Paleozoic and devolve us into whiny paramecium. Er, yeah. Anyway - some quite capital screeching here!
7. Pretend: I could 'pretend' this isn't another heart-filled love song - but I'd be lying. The keyboards are a huge departure. What's next - a random rant about lovesick Killer Whales?
8. Last Night I Dreamed You Didn't Love Me: About 'old school' Hip fans who don't like the new stuff, especially departures like the previous track. Also about two minutes too long - the only song on W.C. I don't really like. The irony. Flush it down the World Container!
9. Dropoff: Some bands are afraid to experiment. The Hip are NOT such a band - and it can be scary. To experiment that is. Fans don't want change. Even Bob Dylan got/gets heckled - and he's a narrowness-bestriding colossus. Has the word 'iridescent'. Spurts of machine-gun lyrics recall '100th Meridian'. Some verses remind me of Georgian Bay. I love Ontario.
10. Family Band: holy crap - I'm hemorrhaging from my incredulous forehead. 'Family Band' is possibly the best Hip song ever. Possibly the best Hip song ever. Unfortunately... bad title. I prefer "Rock the Universe - Hardcore" or "The Day the Earth Exploded" because that's exactly what happened here. FB is an FU to Kim Jong-Il, Harper and all their jabronies, and a big thumbs up to all that's incorruptible like James Brown, Elvis Presley, shiny Lamborghinis and quality street meat (?). Climaxes with a scorching mid-song pause + hypermetal reignition which make all of 'Little Bones' seem like a stupid accident.
11. World Container: This is all Bob Rock; a complete killer-whales departure with keys and a rollercoaster melody - Gord vocal's the equivalent of a trapeze acrobat. Lyrically, I suspect it's about Kim Jong-Il or Stephen Harper -"the one who couldn't imagine all the people [Canada] living life in peace" or maybe Gord's on about fickle fans again: "The good news is that you're smaller/the bad news is you can be smaller than that." Or maybe it's about how vast the sky is. Whatever, it's instantly likeable and makes me cry. Or laugh. "Laugh and laugh till yer told 'please dont come back'." Please come back!
Down with Harper, up with bodies of water. 'Save the Planet' and don't Contain the World. Five stars!
My Second Album Review: World Container
It will be written: in 2006, Gord Downie discovered melody. And heart. And Bob Rock didn't put up with overintelligent lyrical obfuscation. And the band kicked it as usual - with piano!
The Tragically Hip are the only band I'll stoop to review; here's my nonsensical track-by-track analysis of World Container - possibly the third best Hip album ever behind Road Apples and Fully Completely. It is surely Gord's best vocal performance to date.
1. Yer Not the Ocean: Gord loves nature - but hates Stephen Harper. Harper's a piddling puddle, he's no Atlantic. Look beyond politics and this is a rebuke to mankind (yes, one of those species-wide rebukes): "I'm standing on my toes" and "[you] can get out of your own way" are references to evolution. Ie for all our advances the water is still above our heads. Kim Jong Il (evolution's finest product) should listen to this one. Oceans can take only so much crap.
2. Lonely End of The Rink: Song-about-Bill-Barilko-who? Song-about-Bobby-Orr-what? This track officially replaces the national anthem, the Hockey Night in Canada theme, as well as every Tim Horton's ad in existence. A classic 'story song' for goalies, who according to GD play "the noblest position in professional sport." 'Lonely' is inspired by Gord's dad, a former travelling salesman with 5 kids who nonetheless managed to watch young Gordie play net as a kid - showing up halfway through a game, watch Gord make a few key saves, and then vanishing. All I can say is - sweet smokin shitbricks! Don't get shredded by the opening guitars.
3. In View: A love song, the antidote to Harper. Also the best song about cell phone paranoia (and call display) ever recorded. The melodies shine out for the first time; finally, a Hip song we can hum!
4. Fly: This is untapped potential, the urge to realize dreams; also about Gord finally tapping into his heart with his songwriting: "something deep inside saying - 'Where you been all my life'." Also about talented and well-educated immigrants who come to Canada and then get shafted into "pushing the broom," doing work far beneath them. The coastline of Canada beckons like 'a pair of glowing thighs' but many immigrants end up cheated. Fly fly fly. Lots of choruses. Fly 'Air-World Container', yes.
5. Luv(sic): a pun in the title! Another song about airplane sickness aka soggy puke. I mean, love. "Words I carry in my heart?" - but hadn't the courage to say, for fear of succumbing to soggy cliche. Can the Hip grapple with Cupid - without becoming... Stupid? Is Love the only virtue there is? The Hip sound convinced.
6. The Kids Don't Get It: About how hard being as awesome as the Hip is; how hard defining Canada for all the clueless Canadians is. This is about how if humans don't cut back on CO-2 emissions Ma Nature's gonna deprive us our high-horsepower engines, kick our asses back to the Paleozoic and devolve us into whiny paramecium. Er, yeah. Anyway - some quite capital screeching here!
7. Pretend: I could 'pretend' this isn't another heart-filled love song - but I'd be lying. The keyboards are a huge departure. What's next - a random rant about lovesick Killer Whales?
8. Last Night I Dreamed You Didn't Love Me: About 'old school' Hip fans who don't like the new stuff, especially departures like the previous track. Also about two minutes too long - the only song on W.C. I don't really like. The irony. Flush it down the World Container!
9. Dropoff: Some bands are afraid to experiment. The Hip are NOT such a band - and it can be scary. To experiment that is. Fans don't want change. Even Bob Dylan got/gets heckled - and he's a narrowness-bestriding colossus. Has the word 'iridescent'. Spurts of machine-gun lyrics recall '100th Meridian'. Some verses remind me of Georgian Bay. I love Ontario.
10. Family Band: holy crap - I'm hemorrhaging from my incredulous forehead. 'Family Band' is possibly the best Hip song ever. Possibly the best Hip song ever. Unfortunately... bad title. I prefer "Rock the Universe - Hardcore" or "The Day the Earth Exploded" because that's exactly what happened here. FB is an FU to Kim Jong-Il, Harper and all their jabronies, and a big thumbs up to all that's incorruptible like James Brown, Elvis Presley, shiny Lamborghinis and quality street meat (?). Climaxes with a scorching mid-song pause + hypermetal reignition which make all of 'Little Bones' seem like a stupid accident.
11. World Container: This is all Bob Rock; a complete killer-whales departure with keys and a rollercoaster melody - Gord vocal's the equivalent of a trapeze acrobat. Lyrically, I suspect it's about Kim Jong-Il or Stephen Harper -"the one who couldn't imagine all the people [Canada] living life in peace" or maybe Gord's on about fickle fans again: "The good news is that you're smaller/the bad news is you can be smaller than that." Or maybe it's about how vast the sky is. Whatever, it's instantly likeable and makes me cry. Or laugh. "Laugh and laugh till yer told 'please dont come back'." Please come back!
Down with Harper, up with bodies of water. 'Save the Planet' and don't Contain the World. Five stars!
6/16/2004
weird weird weird...
Do not spit too loudly on one of the most disturbing sites you'll ever visit.
On another more insane and saddening note, the benevolent geniuses over in the North Korean government have just informed their 22 million famine-starved citizens that eating pine needles is good for you (see June 16, "Efficacious Pine Needle Foodstuff"). Ah, so they're resorting to delicious pine soup--the selection there must be in those DPRK supermarkets. Yet another one to file under "what... me worry?" (sigh.)
On another more insane and saddening note, the benevolent geniuses over in the North Korean government have just informed their 22 million famine-starved citizens that eating pine needles is good for you (see June 16, "Efficacious Pine Needle Foodstuff"). Ah, so they're resorting to delicious pine soup--the selection there must be in those DPRK supermarkets. Yet another one to file under "what... me worry?" (sigh.)
5/14/2004
more unbiased coverage from the North Korean newswire...
Films on Theme of Anti-Japanese Education Screened-- Pyongyang, May 14 (KCNA)
"A series of films on the theme of anti-Japanese education are now shown at cinemas and houses of culture and other places across the country. Among them are the documentary film "History Indicts" and feature films "Japan Provokes War in Year Imjin," "Emissary Unreturned" and "Kwangju Calls."
Cinema-goers feel bitter hatred for the Japanese imperialists, the sworn enemy of the Korean nation, and renew their firm determination to take revenge upon them.... Seeing the films, people from all walks of life and school youth and children evince their firm pledge to deal merciless blows at the Japanese reactionaries"
CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS IS ALL THESE PEOPLE ARE ALLOWED TO READ!!!???
"A series of films on the theme of anti-Japanese education are now shown at cinemas and houses of culture and other places across the country. Among them are the documentary film "History Indicts" and feature films "Japan Provokes War in Year Imjin," "Emissary Unreturned" and "Kwangju Calls."
Cinema-goers feel bitter hatred for the Japanese imperialists, the sworn enemy of the Korean nation, and renew their firm determination to take revenge upon them.... Seeing the films, people from all walks of life and school youth and children evince their firm pledge to deal merciless blows at the Japanese reactionaries"
CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS IS ALL THESE PEOPLE ARE ALLOWED TO READ!!!???
4/30/2004
latest from the DPRK
Here's what passes for front-page news in that dangerous Disneyland of a country known as North Korea. Stories this compelling/disturbing must be shared:
Human Love Fully Displayed in DPRK [North Korea]
Pyongyang, April 29 (KCNA) -- Human love is being fully displayed among the people of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea. Some time ago doctors of the North Phyongan Provincial People's Hospital and students of Sinuiju University of Medicine completely cured a badly burned patient who had been at death's door, by donating their blood and pieces of skin without hesitation.
The pieces of skin they grafted to the patient five times amounted to more than 9,800 square centimeters and the blood they transfused 29 times to 3,500 milliliters during some 120 days of treatment.
Doctors and other employees of Pyongyang People's Hospital No. 2 also recovered scores of wives of mining workers of the Majon Mine in Songchon County, South, from critical conditions caused by an accident.
For more than 40 days of treatment, they held over 500 consultations, conducted some 20 surgeries, big and small, took over 50 X-ray examinations and carried out over 1,230 tests. A large amount of blood and costly medicines was applied to the patients.
At the Kim Man Yu Hospital, a crippled girl was treated to walk by herself.
Foreigners who witnessed such beautiful deeds said that such warm love for people can be seen only in Korean socialist society where all the people live as a big harmonious family with leader Kim Jong Il as their father. [emphasis mine]
I try not to comment explicitly on politics/current events, but I gotta say, when an entire nation falls victim to its own massive 'Truman Show,' something crazy is gonna happen when the other shoe drops.
Human Love Fully Displayed in DPRK [North Korea]
Pyongyang, April 29 (KCNA) -- Human love is being fully displayed among the people of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea. Some time ago doctors of the North Phyongan Provincial People's Hospital and students of Sinuiju University of Medicine completely cured a badly burned patient who had been at death's door, by donating their blood and pieces of skin without hesitation.
The pieces of skin they grafted to the patient five times amounted to more than 9,800 square centimeters and the blood they transfused 29 times to 3,500 milliliters during some 120 days of treatment.
Doctors and other employees of Pyongyang People's Hospital No. 2 also recovered scores of wives of mining workers of the Majon Mine in Songchon County, South, from critical conditions caused by an accident.
For more than 40 days of treatment, they held over 500 consultations, conducted some 20 surgeries, big and small, took over 50 X-ray examinations and carried out over 1,230 tests. A large amount of blood and costly medicines was applied to the patients.
At the Kim Man Yu Hospital, a crippled girl was treated to walk by herself.
Foreigners who witnessed such beautiful deeds said that such warm love for people can be seen only in Korean socialist society where all the people live as a big harmonious family with leader Kim Jong Il as their father. [emphasis mine]
I try not to comment explicitly on politics/current events, but I gotta say, when an entire nation falls victim to its own massive 'Truman Show,' something crazy is gonna happen when the other shoe drops.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)