Drunken Garbage Man

(inspired by actual events)

I'm the drunken garbage man
piles and piles
teetering on my trolley
The truck stops here
at the bottom of the food chain
don't give a rat's ass, I
mix recycling with the trash
rolling my wagon 'round city hall
clear benches with the stench
plastic bags, metal box, diarrhea diapers and
(probably) trace amounts of smallpox; now my
hands are sticky with slime and sugar from
someone's half-chewed cherry lollipop

Here's a stack of crumpled tins
unearthed remains of onion rings
a little gold mine: a tenth-filled
whiskey skin - who drunk the other nine?
doesn't matter, I'm thirsty and it's mine

I'm the garbage man and
Crazy Lou keeps asking me the time
excuse to strike up conversation
- he's so lonely and he's never late
Old Lou, he'll ask what's
under the trash but
I won't tell about my little stash
and don't ever ask what's under the grate

Makeout kiddies make me smirk
Skater Boy is a pain
and there's a skinny punk writer I'd
like to shove
he sits on top of Receptacle 9
and pretends to fall in love

I wore gloves but they
slowed me down
I wore noseplugs but only after work I realized
how bad was the smell
and
I wore black shoes cuz they didn't scuff
but smudge is least of my worries; you
should see some of this radioactive stuff

I don't know why they hired me,
but
no one will ever fire me
unionized, boy
sure don't take much brain
but someone's got to haul the trash
today
and it won't be you
and i guess it's me
though it's hot and sweaty, and my supervisor Freddy
doesn't even know my name
I'm paid $25.50 an hour
but brother it's not enough
when you deal in shit you dream in diamonds and
heaven's not enough