why pizza makes me puke

the reason is simple: cheese. Cheese is one thing to think about, but let's not forget mushrooms. Cheese and mushrooms combined make a stewy stink of a mess in my belly. Mushrooms are halfways poisonous at the best of times; you think my tossing them on a pie and fluffing some dough Italianwise is gonna circumroute my appointment with Dr. Ralph? Well, you got pepperoni in your pants pockets!

I ordered a pie the other day, and no sooner did I begin mowing down then I had a call on the throne-phone. It was urgent, it was collect. The ingredients took hold my abdomenal sac and plotted their escape; my intestines clutched my stomach lining and didn't let go til all particle matter was wrench├Ęd loose. It was like a pizza-pie Reign of Terror in my gut with my esophagus as guillotine. It was a disturbing experiment in technicolour.

I once supped on a fragrant slice of Margarita, but she proved a foul garlicky minx. I puked away my Sunday. Case closed!

1 comment:

Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

Sounds like a great weekend!!!!

I love cheese. The more evil and stinky, the better. I had some on sunday that was so horrific in odour that my fellow dinner guests demanded that I eat it as quickly as possible, lest they pass out from fumigation poisoning.