Mucus poem + Highfalootin Insults

Oh a man
A green thing on his hand
A bit of snot
Let it not be said that I dreaded the mucus
I embraced the sneeze!
I lurched forward with every intention of snatching your soiled rags!

Or did I?

You grease-monkey turdball.
You little piece of skypenugget. You bilgerat with a wastewater mustache! O Grand Poobah of Sludge! You foul the noses of the Skunkerati themselves! Be gone, not to Stonehenge but to SewerHenge! I wish you the intimate company of a dozen ugly wenches! You have eaten nothing but the minds of the wise; you are a cesspool of skulldragon soupbroth… O - why has the Supervisor of Stupidity plopped you at my side, shackling me with eleven lifetimes of lummoxery?

O bacon turd! O flopsy shred of incandescent muttonheadedness - you generate a vortex of scowls. O green scaley thing! Spit on my eyes to blind me, I’d rather not gaze on your ebullience of pus!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

the sheer beauty of this insult caused tears to emigrate from my eyes!
you are truly splendid.