bad simile girl

(easily among the top 1000 most pointless things ever written)

*ahem*

bad simile girl

like a bat out of hell
like for whom? the bell
like venus or mars
like wunderbar

like a jaguar cat
spotty, reflexive
like a diplomat
chatty, pensive

like marmalade
spread too thin
like a meaningless receptacle
like a semantic ramekin
a linguistic porcelain dish

like missionaries in a jungle
like a monumental blunder
like anthrax in the mail
like bread crumbs in a jail
like nothing

(please look for me by the barbeque
I'm turning on a skewer
I looked through every side street
and I found you in the sewer)

I don’t like it because
it’s not perfect:
it's like sabotage
like a mirage
like a millionaire with a
lousy accountant;
I looked at you, wrote you down
compared you to the whole world
but it was insufficient
you couldn't do it justice
it was just like
you were a
bad simile or something