unfiltered cupcakes

(Meet the surly frontliners at the sewage treatment plant - find out what they put up with!)

"I've been short on posts lately, and some friends have complained that I'm slacking.

This is a) 'absolutely untrue', as I'm still posting about 3-4 times a week, and b) this is 'relatively true' - I used to post sometimes 10 times a week.

I guess this is a rite of passage for every blogger - working through the slow periods, etc. - getting your second wind after being online for over a year (my first blogday was this past March 1 - though technically it will be Feb 29 2008, since I started on a leap year - happy belated bloggiversary to me)... anyway I am sorry.

But in that vein, check out the following excerpt of pure 'keyboard brine' which my fingers pumped out last night. The following bit took about 3.5 minutes to write, and will probably take about 3.5 days to make sense out of; it's unedited, with all typos left to scar your eyeballs:

Mar 20-05 rant

Velevet was the ordeer of the moment, ghte ghoul I was feeling in the yard, it was umberto eco the thirds most understood write in the western hemopsere this iss the meaning we hope to cleave that when people come toghet in the flu cod the moment it will not ver overided by some know itall from inside a cpu, I was rock and roll keyboardist I could open ip the ocean with these owreds tot the rhytrhj of the sambe, the eat in the eating the ehteral moment the coddled truck driver who doesn’t’ get fired because ehje got some piece of blakcail over the management, things like that the corruption that makes your vlood shiver and th emietahpora that doesn’t do uyou any good,. He threw a bit of tumbleweed in to the truch and I was stuck with his overlordish swampo neck , the tallest beast the bovine smelling smalts the heifer of neglect. Into the brain pan that I saved for easter lamb’s faces I stuck three tablets of cyanide to murder the lamb should thet ever decided to strat form the flock and the ot gt. God you have forsaken your littlest lamb, said the motion of the people in the nightimte it wsa their unspoken mass communication between them, this new kind of group telepathy and this occaiosnal lucidity within moment of hwoling rage, thi sis the shame the rteaser what makes you think I still jave all my marvels, this is smeagol and gollum at their most existential and tearing at each other with their shrivelled cave man dfleh, he never would have left the cave if it weren’t gfor the good and great thoughts that made men wantr toi edplor5e the wordkl . I was carving out ad face in to the mpoutina dn it was the greatest I ever saw, she was blonde and green eyed and her ears were like two slices of beef liver, covered with onins and mashed potatoes, overprices becaue of the college street location but that is the wat it is when you psay for nostalgia. This is the moment of pure truculent agony, this is the moment of the firestorm the first fistfight, the flowing glowing coals of the firelight, I was touchin on a river of gunk, to find some trsesre I was propesctign for thoughts so many drift by and sad I have to toucht tjem all so I was coing to invest a more effiecent boioiler some sort of process to improve my yields but there can never be a separate a cujltued pearl spearete form the rest it is na moment of torment and neglet, it is a moemtn of pure electoral fishiness.,

So, dear reader, you see the (extremely) raw materials I have to work with. And this is a typical first draft! Then again, with these kinds of 'horrible ramble posts' I don't even consider myself a writer. I'm more like a coroner, searching to find cause of death, or a forensics investigator struggling to reconstruct a crime. Eventually I will edit the above into something I find quasi-coherent, and serve it back as a 'filtered cupcake'. And that process could take a long long time - certainly more than 3.5 minutes. For my own self-serving vanity, I just want you to realize how much work I put into this lil' flea circus.

Yours in cupcakes,

~Freddie FIAC, chief cupcake foreman"

ps Please don't ask me to explain why the flea circus matters in the first place - it's years before I'm answering that one :-)