Difficulty is a Carrot

Grinding goose mush mouth motorola mannequins, mortgaged on Monday and plundered on Sunday. I listen to Greasniks and Velveteens pluck strings, thin and balding and passive aggressive inhaling cider and chicken wings, trailing their names with initials to signify their highest level of incompetence.

I’m so easy to be around, but I’m in love with Difficulty. Difficulty is a Carrot. Meritocracy is a hierarchy of disappearing burps, chasing down nothing to infinity. Smokestack status-quo simpletons worshipping gross domestic product use fatalism as an excuse for inertia. Blogworld utopians each writing his own general theory of utility, but the only thing we agree on is qwerty - inefficient in fact and not even a word. We are exploratory souls, delicate sails so unique or is it eunuch splintered against sociocultural reefs calloused into coral from leftover crapuscules of the lowest common denominator. The most Googled word in the universe is Britney.

What have you done for me every single second? I will right-click you into irrelevance. Don’t blink - you miss several thousand lifetimes. I could have fathomed 4.6 billion years of three dimensions no problem, but now I’m lost in improbabilities, spatial discontinuities and the meaninglessness of time. Gah.

(Yet I awoke today from a long-awaited dream with sleep in my eyes and my premature winter was melting; sure slush sullies your pantleg but so what. I called up that girl I like, she actually agreed to meet me for coffee. Hip hip hurray, I don’t have to mortgage my next Monday. Hip hip hurray - happiness is a choice.)


Bobby said...

hip hip happiness is hip hip

life clicking is a whole different set of commands - think about that

Anonymous said...

reading this makes me happy

Anonymous said...

I disdain trails of letters. There's a high-dudgeon Letter to the Editor in the paper this morning, signed by a score of academics, all the usual non-suspects, and all trailing their bits of alphabet as if it endows their ivory tower opinion with more credibility than one signed Mrs Applecart of Aspendale.