99 rejected subtitles

(it took some doing, but I did it. now it's done)

99 rejected subtitles

99 just desserts
99 to-do lists for the unemployed
99 hints you should call a psychiatrist
99 songs without instruments
99 friends you never had, but always will
99 feathers in your thinking cap
99 instances of kickass ass-kicking
99 soapbox hooligans and a snot-snorting whippersnapper
99 MS-Word documents
99 excuses for my misbehaviour
99 conventions to conveniently ignore
99 roads--more or less travelled by
99 smiles, frowns and obscenities
99 typesetter’s nightmares
99 radiant swimsuit beauties
99 days in solitary confinement
99 newborn baby boys
99 middle fingers, proudly erect
99 cracked mirrors and other superstitions
99 scalding footprints on the flaming red-hot beaches of sadness
99 soul tattoos, in black and blue ink
99 things… not quite poems
99 problems that aren’t your problem
99 ave-atque-vales
99 worst hopes, best fears and apologies
99 forests for the 6.2 billion trees
99 run-o’-the-mill gluttonies and other forgivable indulgences
99 alternatives to self-medication
99 transparent secrets
99 sermons and impromptu ditherings
99 classified transmissions from the interplanetary observer
99 concrete sidewalks in Toronto (where love is a one-way street)
99 coffeeshops and their attendant consequences
99 newspaper clippings
99 amateur emotions and mercenary intellects
99 derivatives to the power of X
99 missionary positions
99 first steps to beat the disease
99 worn-out crayolas of blood sweat and tears
99 nosedive butterflies and surfacing godzillas
99 eyelashes plucked
99 linguistic fistfights
99 hosannas in the secular temple
99 left-handed ravings and wrongheaded eccentricities
99 finales from A to Z: Alphacalypse to Omegaddon
99 constitutional anarchies
99 useless miracles
99 introspective retrospections and prospective expectations
99 rhyming stigmatas and a drowning narcissist
99 direct marketers beating down your door
99 oceans of uncharted depths
99 lyrical breezes and mystic awakenings
99 whistles in an abandoned train station
99 visits to the anthropomorphological zoo
99 social misfits and semantic mavericks
99 monstrous deeds, magic bullets and smoking guns
99 conversations with The Big Guy
99 grammatical quirks and vocabularial conundra
99 gallons of rocket fuel for the outer-space astronaut
99 Marlon Brandos, two cartons of cigarettes and a bottle of whiskey
99 passports to everywhere
99 meals in heaven (by candle-light)
99 imperfect solutions
99 substitutes for rage
99 platefuls of sugar-coated Brussels sprouts
99 therapeutic scapegoats
99 grassroots excavations
99 constellation points in a single galaxy
99 unblinking assassinations
99 post-coital bearhugs
99 unwelcome beginnings and unwanted conclusions
99 rectal exams for the street-corner beatnik
99 token black guys
99 excommunicated saints
99 broken hearts and drunken insomniacs
99 questions begging for a context
99 exploding powderkegs
99 symphonic convolutions in the key of U
99 sounds, sensations and irrelevant epiphanies
99 jailbirds and their death-row consolations
99 Shakespearean insults
99 hems, haws and hahas
99 (tan)zola-esque j’accusations
99 genuine imitations
99 products from the English Factory
99 letters never sent
99 events in 9 and 9/10s decathlons (pulled a quad in the shotput and DNF’d)
99 forms to fill out before you get paid
99 repressible memories and controllable urges
99 percent of the iceberg
99 ways of saying the same thing
99 miles in somebody’s shoes
99 Easter eggs in one basket
99 cantos in one volume
99 subtitles, lost in translation
99 proofs that you love your family
99 monkeys on 99 typewriters for 99 centuries…
99 descriptions of what it’s really like
99 reasons not to write a book

(all of them rejected)

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