Everything can and should be Swedish

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and a lot of that thought has gone into some pretty intense contemplation. For example - why the hell doesn't everyone live in Sweden??

For instance, this country totally kicks ass. Sweden that is. Canada is ok but it is no Scandinavian paradise, nope not by a long shot. Canada does well when it comes to hockey pucks (well, not lately!) and Trans-Canadian highways, but if you've seen one beaver you've seen em all, so wrap up that poutine Msr le Mountie and open your eyes to the Euro Valhalla of kickassitude I like to call Sweden aka Sweetland.

So what gives; whither such enthusiasm? Well here's an example of Swedish rockativity: Ikea rules the world, not just the furniture world but the monetary one, because when you strip away all those allen keys what you've got plain and simple is a trans-global manufacturing and distributing clout on a par with no other conglomerate trans-nat the like of which this fair old planet hath rarely seen. That's Ikea my friends, Swedish for global hegemony.

Another fair reason to move to Sweden is the hair - ie precisely because it's fair! If Bob Dylan released an album in the 1960s in the middle of Sweden I bet he would have called it Blonde on Blonde on Blondie! And Dylan was no exaggerator but a great Euro-appreciating sage-cum-guitarist whose visionary predilections we ought to heed as rote, ie what's the deal with Mr. Dilly? Double ie - What's the Dilly-o? Simply put I rest my case and move on to point number three:


Eat love em roll around in em. Whatever you do with them, thank the Swedish.

Key question: have I ever been to Sweden?

Nope. Not on your life.

That's what the internet's for, turkeys.

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