I just killed a hornet

You know what makes me?

A hero.

Suppose that hornet had lived - what good would have come of his life?

Nothing. Hornets are only good for stinging old ladies in the butt and freaking out teenagers.

Suppose that that hornet was Dracula in disguise... that kinda makes me like Buffy.

Suppose Sarah Michelle Gellar were in this room with me right now... what would I tell her?

I'd say, "Sarah Michelle - please put me on your show!"

Suppose she rejected my request, since I wasn't a member of the Actors Guild. How would I react?

By getting my union card.

Suppose unions dues were too high?

First I'd make a few upset phone calls. If that didn't work I'd burn Hollywood to the ground.

Suppose hornets and actresses were interchangeable. So the next time you put a rock through a hornets' nest, there would be no more 'Oscar night magic'...

Know what that would make you? A mass-murderer, and probably a hero.

Tis wondrous strange, yes...

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