To do list - June 12

  • eat breakfast: yoghurt + honey
  • twirl 6-7 times
  • impersonate Ancient Greek hoplite, but first, research hoplites
  • cran-call saxophone factory; ask 'how much for sax?'
  • denounce local magistrate; get all 'grassroots' in his face
  • make a gimp necklace, do not snicker about 'gimp'
  • contemplate globalization for a bit
  • realize no one understands globalization as well as you do
  • momentary intellectual depression
  • overcome fear of thumbtacks; use psycholinguistic conditioning, ie think of tacks as 'benign corkboard support devices'
  • phone aunt - ask after 'crab legs' recipe
  • nickname your goldfish 'Crab Legs' - this time, make it stick
  • cobble together lunch from what's in tupperware containers
  • realize you possess WAY too much tupperware
  • brainstorm fashion line made from tupperware ie Tupperwear
  • get all caught up in latest professional athlete steroid scandal
  • stop saying 'bling bling', this time for good
  • do laundry; separate 'darks' from 'whites'; affect a Southern 'Klanner accent' and make a speech about the wonders of segregation
  • feel guilty re above
  • get over guilt by realizing 'hey I'm just as persecuted as anyone else!'
  • hang laundry on line
  • think long and hard about renting a rug cleaner, then get distracted
  • apply for work at a local NGO - Nate's Golden Oldsmobiles
  • tackle that bathroom reading
  • investigate upgrading from 'Mach 3' to 'Mach 3 Turbo'; end up waiting till Mach 4
  • use wisdom of Shakespeare to defuse gang violence
  • make to-do list for next week

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